This week it really hit me. The inability to get off the couch. The lack of motivation to do anything. The frustration and sadness for what is going on out there. In this city that I love.
This dirty city. This 90% humidity in June, loud, sticky, sometimes (lets be honest, most of the time) human pee covered city.
This blossoming city. Where women are banding together to make homemade masks for the community and for the hospitals. Where local clothing stores are donating materials. Where restaurants are donating food to the homeless. Where every night at 7pm, people lean out their windows or stand on their stoops and cheer for the essential workers keeping our city safe.
On Wednesday I stopped. I couldn't move. The next day was pretty much the same. I had been forcing myself to remain calm and find distractions from feeling scared of what happens when I let myself think about what is really going on. And what is going on is scary. This is a whole new world and we don't have a timeline for when things "get back to normal" other than knowing it's probably going to be a while. To be honest, I don't know that we will ever get back to normal.
But I found a way to get through. I allowed myself to stop. Because no one but me is telling me to go. I allowed myself to sit in this feeling and recognize that it is valid.
This week I felt unmotivated, because there is no motivation. Up until this week I had been baking, and making bread, and sewing masks, and working out, and running, and writing a screenplay, and zoom meeting friends to read screenplays, and puzzling. Doing my best to motivate myself. Doing my best not to take for granted the very privileged position I am in. I have a roof over my head. I have food. I have a job that allows me to work from home. I have a partner to quarantine with.
Oh yeah... and I had been working on this. This weekend I finished this. This weekend I felt a little spark of joy in having time to be creative. Maybe it's a distraction, but maybe that's okay.
This is a song by my father. This is a song that felt so NY to me. So "When Harry Met Sally." I listened to it and I saw the streets of NY. So I told him I was going to make a music video for it. And I did. This is just one experience of quarantine. I do not pretend to stand for all. But I hope it brings you a little joy, a little smile, and a little reminder that you are not alone. Stay strong. Stay home.
Set in 1835, the trilogy is a fantastical imagining of the iconic Bronte sisters as teenagers surviving and savoring a summer full of secrets worth setting on fire. The Trilogy evolved from the author's original television pilot (Sundance Second Rounder, Screencraft Fellowship top finalist, The Break semifinalist, Page-awards quarterfinalist, Screencraft public domain semifinalist).
Director: Kristin Kundert
Cast: Lucille Sharp (Downton Abbey), Philip Alexander (Stargate Origins),
Eshan Bay (House of Cards), Cerridwyn McCaffrey (This Girl Laughs @Atlantic Theatre Company), Annabelle Fox ( Freaky Friday @North Shore Music Theatre), Ryan Kessler (The Vampire Diaries), Samantha Rosentrater (Orange Is the New Black), Nick Hetherington (Team Umizoomi), James Zebooker (The After Party), Nicole Lockhart (The Verge), Greg Bell (Green Piece)
A couple weekends ago I was out in Philly for a two day shoot! We had an amazing location (above) and an incredible crew. While it was a little chilly, the people and the story were worth it. When you have a group of people who all work their hardest and find joy in the work, time flies and the product is so much better for it. It's the best feeling when everyone looks at playback and all say "I can do better, let's do it again". The energy in the air is not defeated, it's invigorated with the potential of what could happen next time. When everyone wants it to be the best that it can be, and can still joke around and make each other laugh without wasting time, that's the kind of set I always want to be on. I look forward to see where this little project goes. We're shooting to submit it to festivals this fall!
This summer I will be shooting my first feature length film as Caroline in the cast of 'Golden', written and directed by Coco Cashman. Check out her fabulous website for updates, to view more cast announcements, and to get to know the film: www.golden-film.com/
I had an amazing time this last weekend onset for a music video by Dominik Czaczyk, Senior at SVA.
His concept was character driven and focused on my character's perspective as a young actress who falls in love with her method actor co-star. He falls in love with all of his co-stars and she's another in the long line, but in the end she is able to take back her power and move on. The story is her journey in gaining confidence and learning to trust in her self.
This was a three day shoot in three locations. Our first day was in The Dimond, a super fun and interesting bar in Brooklyn.
My makeup was done by La Bloise Art. My first time with makeup onset by a professional! It makes such a difference when you invest in your crew, film equipment, and locations. And she made my life so much easier. I didn't have to remember to check if my makeup was running down my face. She was always there to do a quick touch up between takes.
We were talking on set about how if you don't invest in locations, you end up having to fill them with what you need to get the look you want. So it doesn't save money, in fact it usually means you spend more for less materials and a lack of quality. If you put money and time into scouting the perfect location, it does the work for you! For example: the apartment we shot in the second day.
This apartment was full of unique little details, plants, and sea horses! There was SO much to work with. We didn't have to bring any set, props, or fill the space in any way. This apartment was clearly lived in.
Working with Dominik was amazing. He was open to suggestions, but clear about his vision. He would ask us if we thought our characters would respond the way he'd scripted it and was always interested in our interpretations. He did the same for his crew. He would ask the cameraman for advice, and often took it! Dominik cared about making this the best it could be, and that created an environment where everyone else wanted the same. After watching one of the takes (see the video above) he paused, looking at the cameraman and then to us, he said "yeah, this is good, but I want to do another if you're up for it". We all said yes, absolutely, we all wanted to. We ended up doing two more takes, each time resetting to one (first positions) without him asking because we all could feel we were almost there.
I learned so much from this shoot, being in three different shooting environments: in a real bar, on a studio stage, and on location in a rented apartment. I learned to watch out for continuity whenever I could, for myself and for the set around me. I learned a lot about emotion on camera, as this was for a music video it was most important that our faces told the story, not our words.
all in all it was a long, tiring, beautiful, exciting, and educational experience I will not forget. Hope I can show you all the finished product soon!
I've been focusing on a lot more TV/Film opportunities to broaden my acting experience. Head to my instagram to see some stills of my most recent projects! IG: cerridwynmccaffrey.
On set in Central Park for NYU short entitled "Ava" this past weekend with my little sister for the day Abby.
Mary's Sex-Crazed Cosmic Playlist Equal to the Rays of the Stars
By Tasha Gordon-Solmon
Catch me as Mary at 8pm June 16th and at 5pm on June 23rd at the Women in Theatre Festival at the IRT 54 Christopher St, New York, New York 10014. Tickets and RSVP here.
Opening weekend was a smash!
Come join me as Beatrix in the Atlantic for Kids production of 'This Girl Laughs, This Girl Cries, This Girl Does Nothing' by Finegan Kruckemeyer at the Linda Gross Theatre. Tickets and details can be found here:
Production photos by Ahron R. Foster